You sit with me. Basking in the sunlight like cats, we chat among these overstuffed pillows. It’s quiet, and we don’t have to worry about what people want us to be here…
The idea of having two blogs seems like a bad idea. I think. What do you think? It’s a bit like choosing to babysit two kids when you could choose to babysit one, right?
Why would anyone do that? Like, can you hear the thought process?
“Why babysit one kid when I get the opportunity to babysit two…”
I fall silent while you sip your cuppa, staring at me.
I know. I know.
It’s twice the work. Twice the photos. Twice the typing. Twice the words. Twice isn’t as good as one, right? I mean, unless we’re talking food items that we love. Brownies. Mochi. Pizza. Mom’s casserole…
I pull on a string on my hoodie sleeve.
Compelled. Trapped? Pushed. Yeah, that’s the word: pushed. I feel pushed to try it. And if it’s a complete disaster, it will be a good fail, huh?
I mean, it’s like that one time I was obsessed with drawing anime. You know what anime is, right?
You nod slowly.
Anime was the first art form I fell in love with as a home-schooled kid. I’d never seen anything as expressive as the big eyes, slender bodies, and hair that defies gravity.
I give a short laugh.
Nowadays, I’m older and know of lots of art forms, but anime and manga still hold a special place in my heart… But yeah. I was always trying to draw those Sailor Moon eyes right. Gundam Wing hair. Well. I was pushed inside. Internally, I just couldn’t stop trying to get it right.
I scrunch up my nose in disgust as I recall.
Oh, so many fails… There wasn’t enough pencil eraser to help some of those early pages…
But there was one day when I got it right. The hair, the eyes, even the shine spots on the character’s eyes…
Success. Aaaaaahhh.
It felt great.
Then I wondered why I didn’t attempt more.
You know why, right?
Yeah. Fear.
You nod.
Not trying is safer. Not caring… No “giving it a go,” no “what a mess,” no “well that didn’t work.”
Let’s be honest, Friend. That same fear is why I don’t try today as an adult.
You take another sip of your cuppa during my pause.
Remove fear, and what have I got left? Just a big, fat why not?
And that big, fat why not? has some exhilarating emotions packed inside it. Kind of like when you get a new, blank journal. Or you’re sitting in a theater waiting to see the next movie in a trilogy you love… It’s like, potential expectation. Or a baby delight at what could be. Makes a person giddy to rush in. Are you like that?
I stare at you, scanning your features, wondering.
You don’t have to answer.
This is a safe place to decide to not say anything.
I stretch in the sunlight’s warmth.
Well, I guess I’ll give it a try. Two blogs will be a small adventure. I’m usually not up for that kind of adventure, but, again: pushed.
We’ll see.
Cozy Corners With Angela 